Come Be My Light

For those of you who don't know, my home page for my web browser is cnn.com. Awhile back, I decided that I needed to stay up to date on the news. I don't watch local news or read a newspaper besides the Coastland Times (today's top headline -- "KDH votes against turning glass atrium into office space" -- yep, Kill Devil Hills town council, baby!). Cnn.com is my only outlet to the world beyond the OBX.

One headline caught my eye on Friday -- "Mother Teresa's Crisis of Faith". Instantly, I was engaged. I decided to delay my usual morning Bible reading because I had a feeling that what the article held would speak to my own walk with God. You see, something inside of me has changed since I first became a Christian. I used to fear doubt. I feared questions about my faith. I had many non-Christian friends who loved to make me uncomfortable with philosophical banter, hoping to throw me off my devout faith. In hind sight, I realize that doubt and questioning only made me seek God more. Did I find answers? Hardly. I found more questions; but my understanding of the vast mystery of God has led me to worship more deeply.

This is why the new book Come Be My Light attracts me. The book is filled with Mother Teresa's personal letters and prayers confessing her feelings of separation from God. At one time, she had known God closely and could recognize his voice, but during the last 50 years of her life, she felt alone, dark, and unsure of the Love that she was proclaiming in action to the poor in Calcutta.

When I was 18 or 19, my youth pastor casually asked a group of us, "Who is your hero?" I pondered the question like a good college student. I tried to think of someone whose life matched their message. Hesitantly, because I could think of no others, I said, "Mother Teresa". My understanding of people and faith has changed since then. My hero has not. I am more fascinated now than I was then with Mother Teresa. I'm entralled by the fact that this "pillar of faith" doubted. I'm in awe of her perseverance and dedication to God's call even when she didn't feel his presence. Was she a hypocrit? Hardly. She was human. Yet God used her to meet great human needs! . . . Knowing that, what might God do with a questioner like me or with someone like you?

Epistemological moment

I was enamored by this thought today:

The greatest Reality that I know is Someone I can't see, hear, or touch; yet He is what sustains all I know, see, hear, and touch and what motivates all I am and will become.

Home

In case I needed more proof that I'm a "young adult", I recently experienced my most intense summer wedding tour to date. This has been my schedule for the past month: 5 day trip to Houston for Raegan and John's wedding, 4 day local youth mission week on the beach, 3 day road trip to Pittsburgh for Lindsay and Rick's wedding, 4 days of intense office work, 3 days in Charleston, SC for David and Carolyn's wedding.

My whirlwind tour of the country has gotten me thinking about home. It's been almost exactly a year since I moved to the OBX. However when I had an incredibly hard time leaving Texas, I questioned whether or not the OBX is home. Those of you who've had to leave behind dear friends to pursue God's calling would understand. My seminary friends came to define home for me in a whole new way, but now we have parted ways so God and I can create that type of community here.

So where is home? I know I'm supposed to have one. I have this innate feeling that I'm supposed to belong somewhere. But God's teaching me that I wasn't made for this place. He created me for perfect fellowship with Himself. He wants to always keep me longing for that Home, and he has a pattern of sending his people to foreign lands to help them appreciate Home. I keep thinking that perfect fellowship with God is impossible on this side of eternity, but maybe I'm underestimating God. Home is both a present possibility and an eternal promise. Both require surrendering all desires for earthly homes. My questions are: How do we begin creating Christian communities that place our Home with Father, Son, and Holy Spirit above all but also demonstrate a similar feeling of home among believers? Or am I trying to separate two things (love for God and love for man) that are entwined? How can we continually remind one another that we are only at home with the Lord while celebrating Christian community?

Youth Web Page

It's finally up, folks! Our youth ministry web page has gone live. You can check it out
http://www.gbgm-umc.org/duckchurch/Youth%20Web%20Page.htm.

Let me know what you think (a few things are out of date because I'm not yet able to post the updates myself).

Harry Potter

I saw Harry Potter 5: The Order of the Phoenix a few days ago. True confessions: I cried several times. It was so good! Why? Not only was it a well made movie with a great story; it made me think of my youth.

If you don't know the story line, let me try to summarize. Harry has just seen a friend of his killed by the dreaded Lord Voldemort. However, most of the adults in the wizarding world don't believe that Voldemort is back. The ones who do, the Order of the Phoenix, discourage Harry's desire to fight back for his safety. Throughout the movie, Harry battles feelings of loneliness. He longs to do something, but even his class on the Defense Against the Dark Arts becomes a centered around book study. How can he fight evil by sitting still? His friends decide to believe him, and they form Dumbledore's Army. Harry trains them to use magical powers to fight against evil.

In some ways, I see my youth as Dumbledore's army. They don't want the book knowledge of the Bible. They want Truth Himself. They want to know how their faith in Christ plays out in the real world. Often, they don't even care about my lesson plans, but they want practical wisdom gained from years of walking with God. They want the tools to battle against evil, sin, and destruction so they can change the world for God's good. But could they band together? Could they choose to be a community that stands together for God's purposes? Could they strengthen and encourage one another instead of dishing out sarcastic cut downs?

I see hope in two things: 1. A quote from Harry Potter himself, "Every great wizard has started off where we are now. If they could do it, then why not us?" My youth are young, but so was I when God started to change me so I could change the world for Him. It's a process of learning to walk with the Lord. God starts teaching us now. 2. Nothing is too big for God. Regardless of age, God can use anyone to fulfill his purposes no matter where they are in their faith development process.

I believe it. God will transform these youth to transform the world, and I pray that God would equip me to help them know how through practical life lessons.

Lighthouse Tour Part Deux and Relevant

A while back, I said that I'd post a picture of the Currituck Lighthouse to go along with my pictures of the other three OBX lighthouses. Well, here it is, a month later. This one has special significance to me since my aunt and uncle work there. Hooray for free climbing privileges!

While I'm giving random endorsements, I'd like to plug Relevant Magazine. It's my new favorite way to stay on top of current issues relating to God, life, and progressive culture. The magazine's web site is also highly informative www.relativemagazine.com. Relevant is my secret weapon against the curse of being in your 20s: reaching the point where your list of pop culture references remains stagnant (I discovered that phenomenon while trading Billy Madison quotes with my brother).

Update

Wow, I haven't posted in awhile because life has been CRAZY!!

Last Monday night at 9:15, I said goodbye to my pastor, David, and his wife, Libby. The next morning at 10:15, I greeted our new pastor, Ray, and his wife and daughter. Methodists don't leave much time to process through a transition. It's definitely been a wild ride, but I absolutely believe that God is in control and on the move to bring salvation and revival to the Outer Banks!

Part of the excitement about living on the Outer Banks is the variety of people who come here in the summer. For the past month or so, I've had the opportunity to work directly with college students from Russia, Poland, Egypt, Serbia, Croatia, Moldova, Macedonia, and the Ukraine. These students move here in the summer to supplement the work force during the tourist season. Pathways International is a Christian organization that helps these students while they are here. We help them find housing and employment. We provide them with a free Internet computer lab so they can stay in touch with family at home. We offer English classes so they can improve their language skills. And we try to spread the Gospel through special events and personal interactions. It's an awesome ministry that God is using to change the world!

The summer has brought some good changes in the youth and young adult ministries at church. My youth group meets on the beach every Wednesday for fun in the sun and a short devotion. It's been fun to hang out with the youth and to learn, together, how we can change the world in a big way. My young adult small group has exploded! This group that consisted of 6 people when I got here has now grown to 15. God is drawing people within and outside our church to more authentic fellowship with Himself and His people. It's awesome to be a part of God's work!

And the last update . . . my brother got engaged this past weekend! Even though several of my friends are tying the knot this summer, it feels like a whole different experience (in a good way)when it happens in your own family. My big brother is gonna get married! AHH! Congratulations Adam and Kari!

Life and Death

This week has been an interesting juxtaposition of life and death. I'm not sure whether to tell the life or the death stories first, and even if I tried to decide I probably wouldn't be able to define which stories deal with life and which ones with death. . . .

My young adult small group has decided to study The Passion of the Christ. I immersed myself in the Holy Week Scriptures and tried to understand why Jesus died. That was Monday and Tuesday morning. Then, our church received a phone call from someone needing counseling. Our lead pastor is out of town for Annual Conference, so the phone call was diverted to me. If you know me well, counseling isn't really my bag. I set up a meeting anyway--so glad I did. The guy was a tourist from Ohio who realized he was having faith issues. It turns out that he had never surrendered his life to Christ, so after 30 minutes of conversation, he decided he was ready. He accepted Christ! He is saved through Christ's sacrifice! Life from death! I told my small group that night, and they were excited. By the end of our meeting, though, our hearts were heavy again as we realized the reason Christ died for us: It was God's will all along that God Himself would have to provide the blood sacrifice for our sin. Why did he go through a gruesome death? For me . . . for you. Sobering . . . .

Yesterday was hard. I wrote a lesson about Stephen, the Christian martyr. I mourned with the persecuted church as I searched for images to help my youth understand Christian persecution. Then, everywhere I turned things seemed to fall apart. I watched a friendship splinter. I realized some of my own faults. I tried to help several international students with transportation and job issues, but we resolved nothing. Then the kicker -- I got an e-mail from the seminary saying that David Gichuru (a student from Kenya) had passed away. I frantically searched the prayer list for details. On vacation in California, he jumped into the ocean to save one of his children who was being tossed by the waves. He drowned. The child is alive. My heart is heavy at the loss of such an amazing man of God. I only knew David a little from being in a class discussion group with him, yet he taught me the importance of holding on to your cultural heritage. He and other African brothers taught me that poverty does not mean lack of joy in the Lord. He will leave a legacy of sacrificial love with his children, yet he will be greatly missed.

I don't know what to think or feel after a week like this. Oswald Chambers asked in my devotion, "Am I abiding? Am I taking time to abide?" (My Utmost for His Highest, June 7). He's saying life's not as much about what you think or feel but whom you are with. Abiding -- that's where we find life. Him in me, I in Him.

Incarnational Oops!

Well, my friends, I've done it. I let a few of my youth sucker me into doing something I shouldn't have done. That's right . . . I went skateboarding at a skate park.

Let me get this straight, it was my intention to take the youth to the skate park. My role was to be the responsible observer and cheerleader. Then, with their little puppy dog faces and my desire to be seen as cool, I strapped on a helmet and some pads and grabbed a board. God did not create us with wheels for feet for a reason!

First mistake: I was wearing bad shoes that provided very little grip on the board. Second mistake: I went down a very small ramp (6 inches) and grabbed the fence for stability. I fell off the board and jammed a few of my fingers. Third mistake: After a little more practice on flat ground, I felt ambitious and went after another ramp, this one a tad larger. As I descended, I knew it would all end badly. My board kept going, but I wasn't on it! I got a little bit of air and fell back onto my tailbone. OUCH!!!

For the record, that was a week and a half ago. My tailbone still hurts, and one of my fingers is still slighty swollen. David, my pastor, asked me what went through my head that made me think that skateboarding was a good idea. "Well, incarnational ministry, of course! Go where the youth are; do what they do. Meet them where they are like Jesus did." David's response: "What part of in-the-world but not of-the-world do you not understand?" So true. From now on, I'm sticking to the observation bench when it comes to skateboarding. But something about summer at the beach makes me think that some of my students just might convince me to learn how to surf. Ohh no!

"It's Starting"

I think I've heard the phrase, "It's starting" at least 5 times in the last few days. What's starting, you ask? The tourist season on the Outer Banks. As of Memorial Day weekend, the "tour-ons" (rhymes with morons) have been arriving from the north.

Now, most of the time, "It's starting" has been stated with a tone of dread. Perhaps I'm being overly optimistic (and if you know me well, you know optimism isn't my strong suit), but I'm choosing to say, "It's starting" with anticipation and excitement. Why am I looking forward to crowded streets, restaurants, beaches, and church pews? Because I see opportunity and possibility!

Here are the stats: 57,000 people live on the Outer Banks year round (that number seems incredibly high to locals when our beaches feel like ghost towns in mid-January. Remember, we live on a strip of land no more than 2.5 miles wide). During peak summer periods, the daytime population can be up to 220,000 (see http://www.outerbankschamber.com/economics2.cfm)! That's almost 4 times the normal population! And we get a new set of tourists each week. No wonder the locals are running for the hills! 1500 of those visitors are international college student workers who help businesses keep up with the seasonal population boom. People are coming from everywhere

But here's what I see: We have four times the opportunity to share the gospel with others. We have the capability of impacting the ENTIRE WORLD for Christ from our 2 mile wide strip of land. How incredible! People on vacation are more apt to slow down and consider the things that matter in life: family, friends, physical health, and spiritual health. Could we seize the moments every day this summer to show love, to open our doors and beaches to strangers, and to invite the lost into a relationship with Christ? The possibilities are endless!

I'm pumped about what God will do this summer, and I'm willing to sit through beach traffic and wait in busy restaurants to watch Him in action!

OBX Lighthouse Tour

This past weekend, my parents came to the beach to celebrate Mother's Day and my birthday. For some reason, I have always loved lighthouses (notice the lighthouse theme for my blog), so we decided to visit several of them on the way to Ocracoke Island. Cape Hatteras is on the left, Ocracoke in the middle, and Bodie Island on the right.

I started thinking this week about why I like lighthouses. A few thoughts come to mind:

Christ said, "I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in the darkness" (John 12:46). Lighthouses shine bright in the darkness. They remind me to be grateful that through faith in Jesus, I no longer have to live in a dark, hopeless world. Second, just as Christ is a light, we are called to be light, as well. Jesus instructed his disciples, "Let you light shine before men that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5:16). I pray that God's light would shine through me so that others will come to know Christ as their Savior. And lastly, lighthouses remind me that I'm called to be a watchman. A slightly morbid Nickel Creek song ("The Lighthouse's Tale") says this: "I am a lighthouse, worn by the weather and the waves. I keep my lamp lit to warn the sailors on their way." Lighthouses are meant to warn boaters so they don't end their journey in destruction. The LORD calls the prophet Ezekiel to be a watchmen and to bring a message of warning to God's people. Ezekiel tells them to turn from their sin and return to their covenant God. If they did not, they would face destruction because of their rebellion. I'm also commissioned to call others to repentance and to a true love for God. This passage is becoming relevant now as I see God using Ezekiel's visions to guide our youth ministry (more on that later, it's pretty exciting!).

So, my lighthouse tour will continue northward in a few weeks to Currituck where my aunt and uncle work. I'll make sure I post another picture. Until then, GO LIGHT YOUR WORLD!

Spiderman 3

I've been anticipating the opening of Spiderman 3 for the past month, and it didn't disappoint. The character development is excellent! The plot's twists and turns create a tapestry of conflict and intrigue. However, the most attractive part of the film was the way it dealt with the themes of good vs. evil and revenge.

(If you haven't seen the movie yet, go see it before you read on. I need to reveal parts of the plot in order to make my point.)

Typically, superhero films glorify the character's superpowers and unwavering determination to always do good. Spiderman is more like us, though. He's really just a normal guy, Peter Parker, with plenty of skeletons in the closet and lots of emotional baggage. Throughout the film, we discover with Peter that he is selfish, jealous, insecure, loves attention, and carries deep-seeded anger about his uncle's death. The anger, in particular, drives him to do things that he later regrets. Aunt May describes Peter's situation well: "Revenge is like a poison that can take us over, and before you know it, it can turn you into something ugly."

Here's where the puzzling part of the movie comes in. At the end of an intense fight scene, Peter faces the man who killed his uncle. Marko apologizes and shows regret. Peter forgives him. But why did he forgive? Some of the girls who saw the movie with me verbalized the same question that was rolling around in my head. When you get wrapped up in the plot, you begin to feel the frustrations Peter felt: lost love, lost relative, lost sense of control, lost reputation for being a "good" superhero. I would have felt defeated and angry, a far cry from forgiving my father-figure's killer. But here's what I think. Like Marko, Peter was also wrestling with his imperfect qualities. Peter was hoping that someone would forgive him for the wrongs he had done, yet he knew he was unworthy of that forgiveness. I think Peter forgave Marko because he knew he could not go on living without being forgiven himself.

Here's the spiritual tie-in you've been waiting for: The only way to fight revenge is to forgive the person who's harmed you. The only way to truly forgive is to realize that you, too, are imperfect and unworthy to receive forgiveness, yet our heavenly Father forgave us. He didn't forgive us because he had to. He forgave us because he made a choice to keep loving us. When we realize how unworthy we are of forgiveness when it's offered, all we can do is respond in love. We've been forgiven; we know how it feels to hold the weight of guilt and then to have it taken away by words of pardon. Knowing we are forgiven, we want to be like the one who forgave us. We desire to forgive others when they are sorry even if they don't deserve it. Spiderman 3 is an example of grace!

Conference Champs!

The First Flight Middle School girls' track team is the conference champ! GO SEAHAWKS!! I'm so proud of my girls (and the guys, too!). What an awesome season!

VT Lessons

I'm about a week behind on posting this. Track season will be over (for me) after today, so things will start slowing down soon!

Last week, our country observed a terrible tragedy at Virginia Tech. In the past, I've tended to avoid the hype. Last Monday, John Stewart (The Daily Show) explained well how I used to deal with crisis: "Well, if you have a TV, most of you know what has happened today. So, I'm going to do what I always do when this kind of thing happens. I'm going to suppress it, push my feelings deep down inside, and 30 years from now, someone is going to knock over my drink, and I'm going to scream, 'What the ---- did you do that for?!'" It's easy to suppress feelings when we want to believe that our world isn't this messed up. I'm not that person any more. I've wrestled with the questions about evil and realized God didn't do this. God's not micro-managing us. People have free will to make evil and twisted decisions. However, our Easter God brings redemption from the worst. So this week, I've been looking for signs of redemption.

I've found it in community: This image from last Tuesday's candle light memorial symbolizes the unity God desires from his church at all times.
With one accord, the VT community came together to support one another. They all shared something in common: grief. Northeastern NC has many ties to Virginia, so many people here desired to join the mourning community from VT. Many wore VT colors for the nation-wide Maroon & Orange Day last Friday (organized by a woman who attends my church). VT flags and decals cover beach houses and cars. Our community desires to reach out to a hurting community not too far from our own. We in the Church have something in common that unites us: our saving relationship with Jesus Christ. That relationship with him connects us in community with others who have that same relationship. I long for the day when our churches, carrying the light of Christ, begin looking more like the picture above than a bunch of fragmented believers.

Then, I found this other picture. The light of Christ that we shine together should become a light that we share. "You are the light of the world . . . let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven" (Matt. 5:13a, 16). Christian community begins when a person starts a faith relationship with our three-in-one, community God.

We all want to belong; we all long for true community. We all NEED community. Will the Church be that place of unified support for the mourning, the hurting, the hungry? Will the light of Christ within us be something we keep for ourselves, or will we share, inviting others to experience a relationship with our God, Perfect Community?

Doggy days

This week is spring break for Dare Co. So, what does that mean? All the locals leave the beach, and all the tourists (some call them tour-ons, as in, rhyming with morons) have taken over. Sadly, I no longer get a spring break. I miss school! But it does mean that I have gotten to spend the week dog sitting. If only my camera wasn't in the shop, I'd post some pictures! Nonetheless, meet my furry friends:

Buddy Love: Named after Eddie Murphy's slim "Nutty Professor" alter ego, breed - Bichon, age - youngish, he's still got lots of puppy in him. Favorite pastime: running figure-8's around my coffee table and chair. Special concerns: he's allergic to soy, he can't eat normal dog food. "Pet" peeves: being left in laundry room alone at night.

Joe Black: Named after Brad Pitt's character in "Meet Joe Black", breed - shitzu, age - umm, middle aged? Favorite pastime: tug-o-war and sniffing every plant on the side of the road. Special concerns: he's scared of flushing toilets! "Pet" peeves: Buddy's attempts at wrestling when Joe is tired.

I've find it oddly coincidental that both dogs are named after 90's movie characters, and the dogs belong to different owners. It's been an adventurous week! I'm pretty sure this experience has convinced me not to get a dog for awhile (or perhaps just not two at a time). At the same time, though, they've reminded me to think of "the other" before myself as Christ taught. When you live alone, it's easy to forget!

Passion Play

I lived a modern passion play Thursday night. My church celebrated Maundy Thursday. Maundy means command. It's the day we remember Christ's command about the Last Supper: "Do this in remembrance of me." So, I began to remember, entering into the story . . .

Jesus said one of us would betray him. "No, not me, Lord. I'd never do that!" He offered us the Passover cup of suffering. Once representing the blood of a lamb that brought deliverance, this time Jesus said something different. "This is my blood poured out for you." I took a sip.

After supper, he led us to the garden. He told us to watch and pray. My mind was otherwise occupied. I fought temptation to stay focused. I was tired after a week of strong emotions among our congregation (see the last post). Jesus walked a little ways off for awhile and returned to find me mentally asleep. I was daydreaming. Jesus caught me. "Don't fall into temptation. I know you're tired. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." He was telling the truth! It's easier to zone out and make light of the situation in order to avoid thinking about the horror of the cross.

But Judas and the soldiers came and arrested him. How could Judas betray him? Betray us? Jesus was falsely accused, punched, flogged, mocked, spit on. It was unbearable to watch. Then the crowds yelled, "Crucify him!" For what? How could they? From a distance, I looked on in shock as they nailed him to a cross. How could they kill the Lord? How could they kill God? Then, I realized my part in his death. No words went through my head, just horror and grief at the violent sight.

. . . And yet even in the most horrific moment, Jesus still thought of us. He asked the Father to forgive his mockers. He invited the criminal at his side to meet him in paradise. He made sure his mother was taken care of.

All was dark in the church except the empty lighted cross. We all just stared in complete silence. No one knew what to do. Do we stay here? Do we go home? Eventually, we began to exit in errie silence. I was unable to process it all. I felt like one of the women who watched Jesus put into the tomb. They had to leave to prepare for the Sabbath and to mix spices for his burial. I had to go to the grocery store to prepare for Easter dinner. Yet, all I could think of was the image of the cross burned on my eyes.

We all got into our cars and headed home. There is only one road into and out of Duck--speed limit 25 mph. And so, we left the cross behind, traveling in what looked a funeral procession. How appropriate . . .

Ch-ch-ch-changes

It's been a week now since I found out the news. My pastor and good friend David will be leaving Duck United Methodist Church at the end of June. This isn't one of those normal Methodist moves (as in, it wasn't originally requested), so the announcement came as a shock to our congregation. David has served Duck Church for 13 years and had planned on retiring here. Many in our congregation have never had another pastor (particularly some of the youth).

Of course, there are the normal questions: Why does the Methodist church use the appointment system? Was David forced to move? Who's coming to replace him? This week has been an awesome opportunity for me to explain the concepts of calling, church, and faith. When David received the phone call from the bishop, he prayed and realized God was in it. God has called him somewhere else, and David is being obedient. Our church is coming to understand that "church" is bigger than our local congregation. Church is all those who accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. By letting David go, we are sharing him with our brothers and sisters in Christ in another congregation who need a strong, capable leader. However, that sharing doesn't come without some sadness. I have been blessed to serve alongside David and his wife, Libby, for the past 7 months. They are both strong Christians, capable leaders, encouragers, and supporters. They will be deeply missed.

Our church began a discernment process at the beginning of Lent to determine God's will for our church. God has revealed that we will continue this process under new leadership. We continue to ask, "Lord, show us the way." Who will God bring to lead Duck Church? Who will Duck Church become? I believe God will provide the leader we need to move forward in God's will. And along the way, I think each of us are learning more about what it means have faith in God.

Songs of Ascents

For the past few years, I have set aside time during the season of Lent for reading the Songs of Ascents. The Songs of Ascents are found in Psalm 120-134. Usually, I read one a day, and then read through all of them again the day before Easter and tack on Psalm 135 as an explosion of praise for God on Easter morning! During Old Testament times, three times a year, God's people would take a journey from their hometowns for different religious festivals in Jerusalem. Because Jerusalem is located on a hill, God's people would be climbing upward toward God's city. Eugene Peterson in A Long Obedience in the Same Direction, describes the journey as a metaphor: "the trip to Jerusalem acted out a life lived upward toward God, an existence that advanced from one level to another in developing maturity" (18). These songs are in the genre of "The Wheels on the Bus" or "99 Bottles of Beer". But these Psalms are spiritual road trip songs.

Some of these Psalms have spoken into my real-life situation this week (more info on that later). But for now, regardless of where you are, you can always travel up. Come on up the mountain of God with Jesus this Passion week (that starts tomorrow with Palm Sunday). Journey with him to the cross and then out of the grave!

Here are some verses that have stood out to me:
"I lift up my eyes to you, to you whose throne is in heaven." (Ps. 123:1)
"If the LORD had not been on our side [I like to fill in words from my own faith story here]." (Ps. 124:1a)
"Our help is in the name of the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth." (Ps. 124: 8)
"Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the LORD surrounds his people both now and forevermore." (P. 125:1-2)
"Restore our fortunes, O LORD, like streams in the Negev [a desert in Israel]. Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." (Ps. 126, 4-6)
"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain." (127:1a)

Nailing it to the Cross

"You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross." -- Colossians 2:13-14

I was dead because of sin . . . now I'm ALIVE because of him!

Tonight, our youth group made this verse and our little rhyme (the line above) a reality by writing out our sins and literally nailing them to a wooden cross. I worried all week if we could really be serious enough to handle this. However, God's Spirit was on the move!

My intent was for each youth to come up one at a time. In my control freak way, I got worried when a few came up together (I thought they might talk or take the focus off Christ). But it became a very powerful image. You literally could not drive a nail into the cross without someone holding the cross for you. This became an awesome metaphor. We can help our friends put to death their sins by holding one another accountable to the commitment we've made to God and the lifestyle he's called us to.

Another interesting thing happened. I had bought nails that were huge, and they were very hard to drive into the 4x4 posts. Every once in awhile, we had to re-nail the sheets of sins to the cross. Sometimes, we can feel like this with sins that seem to happen over and over again in our lives. We confess those sins, wanting to change, but we catch ourselves doing them again. That's true with me and my negative attitude. The thing is, though, that Christ is at work to change those things in our lives. He sees our sorrow for our sin and gives us the power to overcome sin right now if we will receive it.

The Lord worked in a powerful way tonight! Praise God!

Lenten Reflections: Entitlement

God had the last laugh yesterday. I actually wrote the original posting for this entry yesterday afternoon. But then something happened. Let me begin with the reflections I recorded first, and then I'll tell the rest of the story:

Entitlement . . . the sense of feeling like I deserve something--"I'm owed". During Lent, God has continued to show me how I feel entitled to certain things. Here's my public confession (I list these things so you can help keep me accountable and so you might begin to explore whether or not entitlement is an issue for you, as well. I hope not!):
- I expect respect from my youth group because I do a lot for them.
- I get frustrated when people don't say thank you after I've done a good deed.
- I become angry in a slow line at Wal-mart because I'm a busy person and deserve speedy service.
You get the point. I forget that everything I have is a gift from God.

God showed me an image of what he feels like when entitlement slips into our relationship with Him. We don't deserve a relationship with God, now or in eternity. BUT God sent his son, Jesus, so we can have those things. His hand is outstretched to us. Like a loving Father, he says, "Come to me, child." Here's what we do, though. We act like elementary school kids. Have you ever had your hand up for some kid to give you a high-five, and they stare you down and look at you like you're an idiot? Maybe they started to give you a high-five and then pulled their hand away, followed by the quick, attitude-infested response, "Too, slow!" We act like that; we're too good for God. "I don't need your help, God." "I'm a good person; I do good things. I deserve to go to heaven." Our Father just stands there . . . rejected . . . but his hand is still outstretched, ready to grasp ours, ready to pull us into a loving embrace. Wow (humbled sigh) . . . my only response can be a life lived in gratitude and worship to a God who loves me this much, even when I'm a punk.

The Epilogue: After writing that out yesterday and pressing publish to post this entry, my internet access went down. At first, I laughed out loud. I have become so accustomed to internet access that I feel like I deserve it. A few hours later, I called the cable company to see if it could be fixed. They told me they could send someone out Friday from 1-5 PM. Internal dialogue: "Are you serious? A whole week? I have lunch plans. Aren't I the customer here? Don't I pay the bills? You should be inconvenienced, not me!" . . . ENTITLEMENT . . . Lord, forgive me. By your grace, help me change. Change us. "We do not make requests of you because we are righteous, but because of your great mercy" (Daniel 9:18b). We don't deserve you . . . thank you!