Lenten Reflections: Entitlement

God had the last laugh yesterday. I actually wrote the original posting for this entry yesterday afternoon. But then something happened. Let me begin with the reflections I recorded first, and then I'll tell the rest of the story:

Entitlement . . . the sense of feeling like I deserve something--"I'm owed". During Lent, God has continued to show me how I feel entitled to certain things. Here's my public confession (I list these things so you can help keep me accountable and so you might begin to explore whether or not entitlement is an issue for you, as well. I hope not!):
- I expect respect from my youth group because I do a lot for them.
- I get frustrated when people don't say thank you after I've done a good deed.
- I become angry in a slow line at Wal-mart because I'm a busy person and deserve speedy service.
You get the point. I forget that everything I have is a gift from God.

God showed me an image of what he feels like when entitlement slips into our relationship with Him. We don't deserve a relationship with God, now or in eternity. BUT God sent his son, Jesus, so we can have those things. His hand is outstretched to us. Like a loving Father, he says, "Come to me, child." Here's what we do, though. We act like elementary school kids. Have you ever had your hand up for some kid to give you a high-five, and they stare you down and look at you like you're an idiot? Maybe they started to give you a high-five and then pulled their hand away, followed by the quick, attitude-infested response, "Too, slow!" We act like that; we're too good for God. "I don't need your help, God." "I'm a good person; I do good things. I deserve to go to heaven." Our Father just stands there . . . rejected . . . but his hand is still outstretched, ready to grasp ours, ready to pull us into a loving embrace. Wow (humbled sigh) . . . my only response can be a life lived in gratitude and worship to a God who loves me this much, even when I'm a punk.

The Epilogue: After writing that out yesterday and pressing publish to post this entry, my internet access went down. At first, I laughed out loud. I have become so accustomed to internet access that I feel like I deserve it. A few hours later, I called the cable company to see if it could be fixed. They told me they could send someone out Friday from 1-5 PM. Internal dialogue: "Are you serious? A whole week? I have lunch plans. Aren't I the customer here? Don't I pay the bills? You should be inconvenienced, not me!" . . . ENTITLEMENT . . . Lord, forgive me. By your grace, help me change. Change us. "We do not make requests of you because we are righteous, but because of your great mercy" (Daniel 9:18b). We don't deserve you . . . thank you!