God's Time

After round 3 of my sermon last night, I came home for a 9 PM dinner. I'd worked 11 hours with no break. As usual, my body revolted. At 5 AM, I was hugging the porcelain throne like a champ. Why is it that I always get sick this time of year? Maybe it's because if I don't take a break, my body will. It was like God was whispering to me this morning as I sat on the cold bathroom floor in agony, "Amy, everything will get done . . . on my time and not yours."

God's people felt like this a lot. Abram was tired of waiting for his promised child with Sarai, so he created a child with Hagar instead. That situation didn't turn out well. Later in God's story, the Israelites also complain about God's sense of time. They had just escaped slavery in Egypt, miraculously crossing through the Red Sea, and they began complaining to Moses about not having food. "God, isn't it about time that you fed us? We were treated better in Egypt!" On the other hand, sometimes it seems God works too quickly. Mary and Joseph were engaged, intending to get married. Then, all of a sudden, this 14 year old girl is told by an angel that she is pregnant with the Christ child. If I were Mary, I think my response would have been something like, "Um, God, that's great!! But . . . NOW? This isn't a good time."

That's how I felt this morning. "God, you've taught me a lot recently that I'm not in control. Do I need another lesson right now? This isn't a good time considering all there is to do at church." I'm human. I live in a world bound by time; but God existed before time. He does what he wants when he wants to. He's in control whether I'm waiting for his next move or surprised and smacked in the face (in this case, in the stomach) with the new thing God is doing.

What's God up to on the OBX? I'm not totally sure yet, but I know it will be on God's time and not ours. Lord, help us walk in your time, in your rhythm. Help us give up control of our schedules, following you faithfully every day. And help us keep our eyes and hearts open so that when you do make a move, we will respond like Mary when she heard she would be the mother of Christ: "My soul glorifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!" (Luke 2:46-47)

First Sermon

I preached my first sermon today. Well, I guess it wasn't my first ever sermon. I have stood in a pulpit before and delivered a five minute message before I was a teenager. But this was different. Different than youth group even. The expectations are higher. There's more formality, less responsiveness and interaction. Overall, I think it went pretty well today (meaning I got good comments from the congregation and only saw one guy with his eyes closed in two services). I talked about "Christ the King Sunday". Knowing that I barely knew what that was and why it was significant, I walked the congregation through the Christian calendar. Then, we recognized Christ the King Sunday by learning about the Kingdom, the Church as a representation of the Kingdom, and Christ as the King.

Somewhere during the week, I felt God leading me to do an altar call: Is Christ really King of your life? Is there part of your life where Christ is not King? The idea of an altar call freaks me out. The logistics are confusing. That sounds horrible! What I mean is, orchestrating the details so people understand how to make a commitment is a careful process. In the end, I realized that it wasn't me who would call people to respond on their cards. It's God; I just present the message and provide the opportunity.

Best post-worship service comment (from a cute elderly man): "I've never said this to a preacher before, but that sermon was scholarly!"

Tomorrow night is round 3 of Sermon #1: The Contemporary Service.

20 Somethings

Let me tell ya . . . there's nothing dull about being in your twenties. Within the past two weeks, I attended a wedding of two young adults from church and a wedding of two friends from home; my close friend, Raegan, from seminary got engaged, and a friend from church had her second child. Kenan bought a car; Sonya bought a dog; I live in a three bedroom house. At the wedding reception on Saturday, I, seriously, had a conversation with someone about the downside of business travel. The scariest one of all: a kid that I used to take care of in the nursery (I was 8 years old at the time) has a driver's license. AHHHH!

So this is the real world. Someone at home this weekend told me they barely recognized me. "You're so grown up now!" Hold on . . . I'm a grown up? People at my church have entrusted me with the care and spiritual formation of 50 teenagers? And they pay me? Whoa.

Some days I feel old, especially the ones when I make an 80's music reference and none of the youth get it. Sometimes I feel young, like when I refer to something as "back when I was a kid" and the person I'm speaking to laughs because they were 50 then. It's all so surreal. No tidbits of wisdom to share here, just awe at the fact that I'm finally doing what God called me to do 7 years ago. That was a lot of waiting, preparation, and expectation. Now, I'm here. I wait expectantly for what God will do next in my life and in the lives of my friends.

Normalcy

I think I've achieved normalcy this week (to steal a word from Harry S Truman). What a blessing! The pace of life has adjusted. No more break neck speed through papers, assignments, and youth meetings (well, I still have those). It just seems like, in some ways, seminary was surreal. We get so adjusted to "Ah ha!" moments every day, that we never slow down to appreciate the mundane. We forget that it takes time to build a ministry and build relationships, even with God.

For instance, I spent four hours on a ski trip flyer today. I went to a rec league soccer finals game and marveled as five moms got up from their chairs and ran because they saw a kid on the ground hurt a few hundred yards away (the kid was fine). We swapped stories about how many trick-or-treaters came to our houses last night. I met a Yorkie-Poo named Hogan. . . . This is just life. Yeah, God's starting to show me some things dreams about our church, but more than anything, I'm just enjoying normal life with Him and His people.