Green with . . .

Envy.

This past weekend, I went to the National Youth Workers' Convention in Atlanta. On Sunday morning, Doug Fields gave a talk about ministerial envy. He said that he had never heard anyone preach on the subject before. I hadn't either until that day. Envy seems to be the sin that many of us ignore. I'm much more apt to repent of my pride, my fear, my judgmentalism. Envy usually doesn't show up on my sin radar. It should, though. The 10 commandments say, "You shall not covet".

Envy is pretty sick, actually. Doug said, "At the heart of envy is the lie that God owes you." Entitlement. God doesn't owe me anything. He's already given me more than I deserve. Every time I envy someone, I slip into discontent. Because I am self-focused, I have less energy to love God and others.

So, in an attempt to not hide any more, I'd like to publicly repent of my envy (and you can hold me accountable):
I envy people smarter than me. I envy youth pastors that seem to have their act together, youth ministries with more volunteer leaders, more regular meetings, and more commitment. I envy my friends who are married. I envy those who are naturally better with people. I envy people who can make good, quick decisions. I envy people who can boldly witness to non-Christians. I even envy non-Christians for not having to witness to their faith.

Father, please forgive me. Forgive us. Change us by your transforming grace.